婚姻 Marriage.
是的，很长一段时间以来，我一直是一个幸福的已婚男人 Yeah, I've been a happily married man for a long time.
大多情况下 Mostly.
你就是你大部分时间都在做的人，对吧？ And who you are is what you've mostly been, right?
我的意思是，你一生都在做某事， I mean, you've been something all your life,
但有一天你醒来，你意识到 but you wake up one day and you realize
逝去的生命比你剩下的还多 more life has gone by than you've got left.
所以，也许你会想想你还没有做过的事情 So, maybe you think about the things you haven't done.
或者你从未做过的人 Or who you've never been.
或者你在此过程中可能错过的事物 Or what you may have missed along the way.
而在那一天， And on that day,
你想做的最后一件事 就是做你大多数时间你都是的什么人 the last thing you want to be is who you mostly were.
你知道吗？ And you know what?
那是个错误 That's a mistake.
天啊 Oh, god.
对不起对不起 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
我不认识你 I don't know you.
我也知道这肯定不是我的位置， I know this certainly isn't my place,
但你只是看起来 but you just seem
很哀伤 very distressed.
我在一个人在看电影 I'm at the movies by myself.
你也一个人看电影吗？ Are you at the movies by yourself?
是的 Yes.
你不伤心吗？ You're not distressed?
不，我... Oh, no. I'm...
真的有点难过 Real distressed.
山姆 Sam.
格蕾丝 Grace.
无论走到哪里，都会有惊喜 No matter where you go, there's a surprise.
我在这下面裸着身子 I'm naked under this.
我会考虑到这一点 I'll take that into consideration.
你还没有和我做爱 You haven't made love to me.
是的，我知道我没有那样做 Yeah, I understand I haven't done that.
唔？ Hmm?
嗯，你怎么看？ Hmm, what do you think?
我想当那件长袍脱掉时... I think when that robe comes off...
- 是的？- 将会是 - Yeah? - It's gonna be
一大堆工作 a whole lot of work.
马上来上我！ Get on me right now!
我会……莫妮卡，我愿意，我会那样做， I would... Monica, I would. I would do that,
但我们现在处于一个非常不稳定的世界局势中 but we're in a very precarious world situation right now.
你在用你的可用性给我施加压力 And you're pressuring me with your availability.
来吧，豪伊 做你该做的快点 Come on, Howie. Do what you do. Come on.
像拉小提琴一样弹奏我的身体，而你是单簧管演奏者 Play my body like it's a violin and you're a clarinet player
但不会拉小提琴！ who doesn't know how to play a violin!
没人知道怎么演奏那个东西 Nobody knows how to play that thing.
看，人际关系就是这样 Look, relationships go through this.
你知道，在某些时候，一个人只是希望 You know, at some point, one person just wishes
有一个他们可以按下的按钮 there was a button they could push that would
可以让对方到别的地方去一会儿 make the other person go somewhere else for a while.
不复存在？ Cease to exist?
不，那个人还存在 No. That person still exists.
哦 Oh.
我们来到了这家神奇的酒店！ We came to this amazing hotel!
之间没有对话是因为 There's no conversation because
我不知道该说些什么了 I'm not sure what there is to say anymore.
什么？停止！ What? Stop!
你觉得我们还剩下多少美好年华？ How many good years do you think we have left?
多少？二十？ How many? Twenty?
- 或许？- 是的 - Maybe? - Yeah.
我还记得20年前我在做什么 I can remember what I was doing 20 years ago
就像上周四一样 like it was last Thursday.
现在，如果这是我们从上周四到现在还剩下的…… Now, if that's what we have left from last Thursday until now...
然后我们必须玩得开心！ Then we have to have fun!
那么唯一值得进行的真正对话 Then the only real conversation worth having
将是开始的那个， would be the one that starts,
“嘿，如果那是我们剩下的， "hey, if that's what we got left,
我们过着最好的生活吗？” are we living our best lives?"
还有，我们在这里做什么？ And also, what are we doing here?
我们在这里做什么？ What are we doing here?
- 我穿得不够好- 是的 - I'm underdressed for this. - Yeah.
因为……我唯一确定的事 Because... the only thing I'm sure of
是我可以在家里问这些相同的问题 is that I could be asking these same questions at home.
与我的夫人一起 With my wife.
他们真的要这么做？ They're really doing this?
她把它扔给米歇尔 She's throwing it to Michelle.
没有其他人想要它 Nobody else wants it.
米歇尔拿到花 Michelle catches the flowers.
然后你下次就结婚 You get married next.
生孩子，就和我们一样 Have babies, same time as us.
他们一起长大 They grow up together.
成为最好的朋友，就和他们一样 Best friends, same as them.
你的生活已经准备就绪 Your life's all set.
你不知道？ You didn't know?
我不知道 I didn't know.
不要搞砸我的婚礼，伙计 Don't mess up my wedding, man.
天啊 Oh, man.
- 好的- 忘了它 - Okay. - Forget it.
为什么？ Why?
因为你在我看来很可敬 Because you seem respectable to me.
所以，我问， So, I ask,
怎么了，伙计？ what's the matter, buddy?
你要回家吃肉饼 You're heading home to meatloaf.
但你注意到外面有一位奇异的小精灵， And you notice one of our exotic pixies outside,
沐浴在霓虹灯柔和的紫色光芒中 bathing in the soft, purple glow of the neon sign.
你想，“等等” And you think, "wait."
“我相信她只是饶有兴趣地看着我” "I believe she just looked at me with interest."
现在，让我现在为你解决这个问题 Now, let me bust that up for you right now.
只要你把她从霓虹灯下救出来... As soon as you get her out of that neon glow...
耶稣！ Jesus!
我……我不想再这样了 I... I don't want to do this anymore.
好的 Okay.
等一下 Wait a second.
像你这样的人不应该带我这样的人去汽车旅馆 A person like you shouldn't take a person like me to a motel.
我很喜欢和你聊天 I was enjoying talking to you
我只是想多谈谈 and I just wanted to talk more.
这个地方有一个优势 And it had the advantage of being a place
我们认识的人都不可能认出我们 nobody we know could possibly recognize us.
这是唯一开放的地方 And it was the only place open.
嗯，这是开放的 Well, this is open.
我不能带你来这里 I couldn't take you here.
等一下 Wait a minute.
好的 你今年多大？ Okay. How old are you?
为什么这很重要？你今年多大？ Why does that matter? How old are you?
哦，我……我已经六十岁了 Oh, i'm... I'm sixty-flaggh years old.
那么，看到了吗？我们年龄完全一样 Well, then, see? We're exactly the same age.
嘿，我只是……我不知道 Hey, am I just... I don't know.
我是不是天生就有魅力 Am I just kind of naturally charmed
因为我们以前谁都没有做过 because neither one of us have ever done
这样的事吗？ anything like this before?
或者……或者…… Or... or...
你完善了这个规划吗 Have you perfected this routine
而我只是今晚的白痴？ and I'm just tonight's idiot dupe?
看着我 Look at me.
是的，我知道 我也是 Yeah, I know. Me too, me too.
我绝不会做这样的事 I would never do anything like this.
这对我来说没有一点可能的 It's not even a possibility for me.
那么，是什么阻碍了你？ Well, what's held you back?
因为你是好人？ Because you're a good person?
因为我会被抓住的 'Cause I'd get caught.
- 谢谢- 哦！哦 - Thank you. - Oh! Oh.
但是……谢谢 But... thanks.
但是，如果你是一个好人， But, if you're a good person,
你结婚了，而你很孤独…… and you're married, and you're lonely...
难道两个 Don't two good people
已经在这个地球上生活了六十年的好人…… who have been on this earth for sixty-flaggh years...
- 哦，至少- 值得幸福一次吗？ - Oh, at least. - Deserve happiness once?
好吧... Well...
只要你确定 As long as you're sure.
这里... Is there...
房间里有圣经吗？ Is there a Bible in the room?
我对这里的设施不熟悉 I'm unfamiliar with the amenities here.
如果房间里有圣经，我真的不能这样做 I really can't do this if there's a Bible in the room.
或者有我手指上的戒指 Or a ring on my finger.
我会，呃... I'll be, uh...
哦 Oh.
嗯……让我看看 Um... let me just see.
是的 看着你 Yeah. Look at you.
哦！ Oh!
- 圣经，就在那里- 给你 - Holy Bible, right there. - There you go.
只是……是的 Just... yeah.
圣经 Holy Bible.
我一直都知道我最后会变成这样 I always knew I'd end up like this.
你好 Hi.
哦 Oh.
我把圣经给了巴拉圭的罗莎， I gave the Bible to Rosa from Paraguay,
谁立刻明白 who understood immediately
为什么一个人会把圣经带出房间 why a person would take the Bible out of the room.
她……她给了我肥皂 And she... she gave me soap.
她刚好知道足够的英语单词 And she knew just enough English
告诉我我会直接下地狱 to tell me that I'd go straight to hell.
- 听我说听- 好的 - Listen to me. Listen. - Okay.
一生举止得体 A lifetime of decent behavior
而其他人比我们玩得更开心 while other people were having more fun than us
最后一起来到这里 因为我们很寂寞 and ending up here together because we're lonely
不可能让我们下地狱 couldn't possibly get us into hell.
你确定吗？ Are you sure?
因为这是一件大事 Because it's a big deal.
我敢肯定 I'm sure.
- 你是？- 是的 - You are? - Yes.
- 想看电视吗？- 哦是的 - Wanna watch TV? - Oh, yes.
好的 Okay.
哦，那里 就在那 Oh, there. It's right here.
那 There.
你想换频道吗？ Do you wanna change the channel?
不 No.
就是这么弄的？ That's how it's done?
好吧，那些都是专业人士 Well, those are professionals.
- 你喜欢那个吗？- 不，我不喜欢 - Do you like that? - No, I don't.
- 我不喜欢- 因为... - I don't. - Because...
哇！ Whew!
哇... Wha...
我的意思是，我怎么可能属于地狱？ I mean, how do I even possibly belong in hell?
我甚至不知道那是什么，就像， I don't even know what was, like,
我不知道发生在那些人身上的事一样 happening with those people.
什么？ What?
你很迷人 You're adorable.
有人曾经告诉过你这个吗？你想散散步吗？ Has anyone ever told you that? You wanna take a walk?
是的！ Yeah!
霍华德，我们已经四个月 Howard, we are going on four months.
这不是在经历四个月后你应该做的方式 This is just not the way you do this after four months.
你认为什么是对的？ What do you think is right?
情感？ Feelings?
你想谈谈你的感受吗？ You wanna talk about your feelings?
- 不，那个窗口关闭了- 什么时候？ - No, that window closed. - When?
话一出口，我就知道我不会这么做了 As soon as I said it, I knew I wasn't gonna do it.
好吧，反正这不是感情问题 Well, this wasn't about feelings anyway.
你想知道这是怎么回事吗？ You wanna know what this was about?
-不-这是关于 - No. - This is about
离开我们现在的生活 leaving the lives we have
去花时间过我们应得的生活 to spend time in the lives we deserve.
就像一个优雅的酒店 Like an elegant hotel.
晚餐配上合适的酒 Dinner with the right wine.
还有你不能在家做的客房服务甜点，是吗？ Room service dessert that you can't make at home, huh?
那Boom-Boom呢？ And what about the boom-boom?
哦，我想在这些环境中被爱着 Oh, I want to be wanted in these surroundings.
我想要冒险 I want adventure.
- 这是我的感受- 是的 - Those are my feelings. - Yeah.
我有一种感觉 There's one feeling that I have.
你是某种女人 You are some kind of woman.
那好吧... Oh, well...
谢谢你 Thank you for that.
怎么会？ How come?
这是... This is...
我第一次做这样的事情 The first time I've done something like this.
这对我来说是不可思议的 And it's incredible to me
你已经能够让一夜情 that you've been able to turn a one-night stand
变成需要四个月才能摆脱的东西 into something that's taken four months to get out of.
这是新娘花束，艾伦 It was the bridal bouquet, Allen.
她把它扔给我 And she threw it to me.
米歇尔... Michelle...
我要像天鹅湖一样跳到空中 I was gonna jump in the air like it was swan lake.
然后带着那些花下来 And I was coming down with those flowers.
接着你要吻我 And you were gonna kiss me.
我也要吻你 And I was gonna kiss you.
但是是那种让你知道 But the kind of kiss that let you know
你会被爱一辈子的吻 you'd be loved for the rest of your life.
你整个脑袋都快要，“哇！” And your whole head was gonna go, "whoa!"
把我抱得 And hold onto me way longer
比在别人的婚礼上适当的时间更久 than appropriate at somebody else's wedding.
然后我还有我穿着白裙子最好的朋友 And me and my best friend in the white dress
可以继续思考我们美好的想法 could keep thinking our beautiful thoughts
关于我们孩子的成长 about our children growing up
并成为最好的朋友 and being best friends.
我们的孩子 Our kids.
而我们现在永远不会有了 Who we're never gonna have now
因为我不会再让你碰我了 because I'm not gonna let you touch me anymore.
我想要一个更优雅的离开 I want a more elegant exit.
我想要谎言说你在这个地方玩得很开心 I want lies that you enjoyed your time in this place
因为我 because of me.
好的 Okay.
我很感激 I am... grateful
你会认为我知道 that you would think that I know
如何变得更精致 how to be more sophisticated
在这尴尬的时刻 in this awkward moment.
我希望你不会因为我没有而非常生气 And I hope that you will not be so terribly angry that I'm not.
哦，但是我非常生气 Oh, but I am terribly angry.
如果你生气了，我更没有理由在这儿了 No reason for me to be here if you're angry.
不是那种迅速升起的怒火 Not the kind of anger that rises up quickly
然后消失了 那种是对其他人的愤怒 and then goes away. That's anger for other people.
好的 你有什么样的愤怒？ Okay. What kind of anger do you have?
嗯，我看你看得越多， Well, the more I look at you,
这是一种...安静，持续的愤怒 it's a... quiet, sustaining anger
在细胞层面上消耗我， that consumes me on a cellular level,
并激励我开始我的新项目 and motivates me to start my new project.
哦，好吧，好吧好的 Oh, well, okay. Good.
嗯，这肯定与我无关 Uh, surely that has nothing to do with me.
所以，我要做的就是走出这扇门 So, what I'm gonna do is i'm gonna go right out this door.
我的意思是，你觉得非常有趣，这个按下按钮的想法 I mean, you find it so amusing, this idea of pushing a button
然后某些东西突然不存在了 and then something just suddenly doesn't exist.
好吧，这还存在着 Well, this existed.
我还存在 I exist.
而你伤害了我 And you hurt me.
我不认为我伤害了你 I don't think I hurt you.
好吧，我会让它像你伤害我一样 Well, I'm gonna make it like you hurt me.
所以你走出那扇门， So you walk out that door,
我会伤害你回来 I'm gonna hurt you back.
我真的不认为我伤害了你 I really don't think I hurt you.
我会想办法杀了你 I'm gonna figure out how to kill you
并逃脱 and get away with it.
- 真的吗？- 是的，真的 - Really? - Yeah, really.
因为，我从来没有做过那样的事情， Because, while I've never done anything like that,
而且我很聪明，我想我可以逃脱 and I'm smart, I think I can get away with it.
那和我去留有关系吗？ Then does it matter if I stay or go?
哦，你可以离开了 Oh, you are free to leave.
要明白，如果你再也不想见到我， Just understand that if you never wanna see me again,
那你最好确保你再也见不到我了 then you better make sure that you never see me again.
因为如果你这样做，那就是那一天 Because if you do, then that's the day
我要按下那个按钮... I'm gonna push that button...
而你将不复存在 And you will cease to exist.
我认为这很公平 I think that's fair.
我一直都知道我的生活将是一系列可怕时刻的集合 I always knew my life would be a collection of hideous moments
自从我妈妈告诉我我永远不会成为一名芭蕾舞演员 ever since my mother told me I would never be a ballerina.
这对我们俩来说都很困难，但我知道她是对的 Which was difficult for both of us, but I knew she was right.
你要我帮你吗？ Do you want me to help you?
你别碰我 You don't touch me.
我接受上帝造我的时候 I accept that when god made me
他没有动用他关于身体优雅的水库 he did not dip into his reservoir of physical grace.
所以，我一直尝试用我的俏皮话来弥补这一点！ So, I've always tried to make up for that with quirk!
让我能够以某种方式使我免于公开羞辱的可怕时刻 Which has somehow saved me from horrible moments of public shame
直到今晚 until tonight.
你做到了，艾伦 You did it, Allen.
你要对我生命中最屈辱的时刻负责 You are responsible for the most humiliating moment of my life.
一直以来，我都确定那会是我，但其实不是 All this time, I was sure it would be me, but no.
是你 It was you.
我甚至不想和你在同一个房间 I don't even want to be in the same room with you
有床的房间 where there's a bed.
我会告诉你上帝还做了什么 I'll tell you what else god did.
他把夜晚放在白天之间 He put night between the days
所以明天可能是一个新的明天 so tomorrow could be a new one.
所以，你所要做的就是 So, all you have to do is
接受我非常真诚的道歉， accept my very sincere apology,
然后这一天就可以结束了 and then this day can be over.
我们可以去睡觉了 And we can go to sleep.
周围公寓的人也可以 And so can the people in the surrounding apartments.
哦，我是不是有点吵？ Oh, am I being a little loud?
是的，你是，亲爱的 Yes, you are, darling.
对不起！我们在这里争吵 I'm sorry! We're having a fight here.
这是一种条件反射动作 It was a reflex action.
我看到了花 I saw the flowers.
我伸出手抓住了他们 I reached out and I grabbed them.
你爬上桌子， You climbed on a table,
把自己扔到房间的另一边 and threw yourself across the room.
那是最最可怕的时刻 It was the most awful moment
在女性被困在你们这些白痴身上的整个历史上 in the whole history of women being stuck with you idiots.
因为我抓到了新娘捧花？ Because I caught the bridal bouquet?
不！ No!
因为你知道这对我来说意味着什么， Because you knew it meant something to me,
而你把它留在了街上 and you left it in the street.
你这个混蛋 You bastard.
嗯，这很好 Well, this is nice.
我们会在这里被杀掉吗？ Could we get killed out here?
没关系 It's okay.
说真的，你觉得这会是个错误吗？ Seriously, do you think this could be a mistake?
不，这太棒了 我会告诉你什么是错误的 No, this is wonderful. I'll tell you what's a mistake.
之前我做过的一切 Everything I've ever done.
你知道我在高中时带过多少女朋友散步吗？ You know how many girlfriends I took for a walk in high school?
不 No.
一个 一个女朋友 One. One girlfriend.
- 哦？- 玛莎 - Oh? - Martha.
她有一件粉红色的安哥拉毛衣 She had a pink angora sweater.
这就是我的结局 Which was the end of me.
叶子会从树上吹下来并粘在上面 The leaves would blow off the trees and stick to it.
有一次，她让我把它们弄下来 And one time, she let me pull them off.
哦对 我们就像那样可恶 Oh, yeah. We're diabolical like that.
- 这让我度过了整个冬天...- 嗯 - That got me through winter... - Uh-huh.
当我让她和我一起去滑雪橇时 When I asked her to go sledding with me
但我没有带我的雪橇 but I didn't bring my sled.
所以只有一个雪橇 So there was only one sled.
所以我们不得不躺在彼此身上 So we had to lie on top of each other.
哦！是的 Oh! Yeah.
你们没那么聪明 You guys are less clever.
但是，你知道，我们很感激 But, you know, we appreciate it
你将我们纳入你的计划 when you include us in your plans.
我们被雪淋湿了 We were soaked from the snow.
- 嗯- 我们回到她家 - Uh-huh. - We went back to her house.
她脱掉了所有的衣服 And she took off all her clothes.
就在我面前 她就在那里，一个赤身裸体的女孩 Right in front of me. And there she was, a naked girl.
对我微笑着 Smiling at me.
就像我会知道在一个裸体女孩面前该怎么做一样 Like I would know what to do with a naked girl.
你有没有？ Did you?
我是有什么问题吗？ Is there something wrong with me?
因为，在我们一起度过的这段时间里， Because, in this time we're spending together,
这就是你真正需要弄清楚的，对吧？ that's all you really need to figure out, right?
那么，我有什么问题吗？ So, is there something wrong with me?
你在等一个芭蕾舞演员吗？ Are you holding out for a ballerina?
你一直是我的芭蕾舞演员 You've always been a ballerina to me.
好家伙 Oh, boy.
如果我们现在没有在争论， If we weren't having this argument right now,
我会亲吻你拥有的一切 I'd be kissing everything you got.
来，你可以有两颗 Here, you can have two.
你不觉得我们的关系行得通吗？ Don't you think our relationship works?
我们为什么要改变行得通的东西？ Why would we change something that works?
越来越少的人结婚了，你知道的 Less people are getting married, you know.
如果他们有事怎么办？ What if they're onto something?
我有不同的事情 I have a different thing.
好的 你有什么？ Okay. What do you got?
我知道，这个行得通 I've got, this thing works
因为我认为它要到达某个地方 because I thought it was going somewhere.
既然我知道你认为我们已经到达了我们将要到的地方， Now that I know you think we've arrived at where we're going,
它会变得不太行得通 it's gonna start not working so good.
我爱我们现在的样子 I love what we are.
我很高兴我们在一起 那不好吗？ I'm happy with what we are together. Is that no good?
你决定我对你来说是什么 You decide what I am to you.
我爱你，就在现在 I love you right now.
还有现在 And now.
你甚至变得不怎么这样说了 You don't even get to say that anymore.
你怎么知道你不会遇到更好的人？ How do you know you're not gonna meet someone better?
我告诉你我会永远停止寻找 I'm telling you I'll stop looking forever.
你现在怎么知道之后的事？ How do you know that now?
你是一个害怕的人吗？ Are you a scared man?
不是 No.
因为我不想要一个害怕的人 Because I don't want a scared man.
你很幸运 你今晚做的那件事 You're just lucky what you did tonight
并不妨碍我知道你真正是什么样的人 doesn't stop me from knowing who you really are.
我很幸运，但是... I am lucky, but...
我不能再碰你了 I don't get to touch you anymore.
这就是你想要的吗？这里 Is that all you want? Here.
这是我的心 This is my heart.
这是我的想法 This is my mind.
如果你在接下来的 24 小时内打我电话，这一切都可以属于你 All this can be yours if you call within the next 24 hours.
接线员正在待命 Operators are standing by.
你总有一天会告诉我 我们正在到某个地方的路上 You've got one day to tell me we're on the road to somewhere.
不是我们在这里，然后就这样了 Not that we're here and this is it.
因为这不是这样 Because this is not it.
除了“是”之外的任何回答都是“不” Anything besides a "yes" is a "no."
所以，玛莎和我度过了更多浪漫的夜晚， So, Martha and I had more romantic evenings,
尴尬的是…… and what was awkward became...
嗯……我变得熟练了 Well... I became proficient.
我只是觉得， I just thought,
有这个技术有什么用 what good is it having this skill
但玛莎将是唯一知道这个答案的人 but Martha's going to be the only one who knows it.
我只是想给别人看看 I just wanted to show someone else
我能做什么 what I could do.
消息会传遍整个大厅， And word would get around the halls,
所有人都会知道玛莎和我都有什么 and everyone would know what Martha and I had.
这……这就是我想要的 That's... that's all I wanted.
- 这是我的计划- 是吗？ - That was my plan. - Yeah?
你怎么想的？ What do you think?
我不知道 我的意思是，结果如何？ I don't know. I mean, how did it work out for you?
我带了另一个女孩上床 I took another girl to bed.
这事很容易，因为我就属于别人 Which was easy, because I belonged to somebody else.
而你被抓到了 And you got caught.
玛莎走到我们身边 Martha walked in on us.
我，嗯... I, um...
我抬头看着她说， I looked up at her and I said,
“嗨我在为我们做这件事” "hi. I'm doing this for us."
我从未见过那样 I never saw such a look
完全失望的眼神 of complete disappointment.
除了一直在我妻子脸上的 Except on my wife's face all the time.
玛莎再也没有和我说话 Martha never talked to me again.
但你知道吗？ But you want to know what?
当我和另一个女孩在一起时， When I was with the other girl,
在我的脑海里，无论如何总是玛莎 in my head, it was always Martha anyway.
你再也没有她的消息了？ You never heard from her again?
有一次 我收到一封没有回信地址的信 One time. I got a letter with no return address.
说，“山姆，我现在结婚了，我爱我的丈夫” It said, "Sam, I'm married now and I love my husband."
“但当我最爱他的时候，他总是会让我想起你” "But when I love him the most, he reminds me of you."
哦 那是毁灭性的 Oh. That's devastating.
哦！但我很激动 Oh! I was thrilled.
因为，无论我多么努力，我都无法让我的妻子满意 Because, as hard as I try, I can't satisfy my wife.
但在这里，不需要努力，甚至不需要自己在那里， But here, without trying, without even being there,
都有人在想我的好 someone was thinking nice things about me.
我觉得你很好，山姆 I think nice things about you, Sam.
你知道，不管你在高中学的是什么把戏， You know, no matter what tricks you picked up in high school,
我都不知道我怎么能过得比今晚更好 I don't know how I could have had a better time than tonight.
- 转回去- 转回去？ - Turn around. - Turn around?
你能把我的车开过来吗？谢谢 Can you have my car brought up, please? Thank you.
女士，我们的门卫很乐意为您提供帮助 Our doorman will be happy to assist you, ma'am.
女士？哦 Ma'am? Ooh.
看看你 Look at you.
难道你不可爱吗？ Aren't you lovely?
还有这个头发，哦！对你很好 And this hair, oh! Good for you.
看着我 Look at me.
拜托，你以前也看我 现在快看着我 Come on, you looked at me before. Look at me now.
你会到这里的 You will get here.
它就是这样发生的 It happens like that.
我们以前的样子，是吧？ The way we were, huh?
那么，你想和我一起分享一些馅饼和冰淇淋还是什么？ So, you wanna split some pie and ice cream with me or what?
不，谢谢 No, thanks.
嗯... Um...
一杯咖啡就好了，谢谢 Cup of coffee would be great, thank you.
我再也不会有那样的时刻了 I'll never have that moment again.
是的 Yeah.
不再是我们的世界 Not our world anymore.
你的纸牌游戏怎么样？ How was your card game?
我在被杀之前离开了 I left before I got killed.
哦 好吧，对不起 Oh. Well, I'm sorry.
是的 我也很抱歉，格蕾丝 Yeah. I'm sorry too, grace.
那么... Well...
什么，你在研究那个东西？ What, are you working on that thing?
嗯嗯 是的 Mm-hmm. Yeah.
你研究那个东西多久了？ How long you been working on that thing?
到现在已经有一段时间了，是的 Quite some time now, yeah.
那个东西是什么？ What is that thing?
你想和我谈谈吗？ Are you trying to have a conversation with me?
我不知道我在做什么 I don't know what I'm doing.
我坐在这里，这些话就出来了 I'm sitting here and these words are coming out.
嗯嗯 Mm-hmm.
唔？ Hmm?
等等 Wait.
你在干什么？ What are you doing?
- 你为什么跟着我？- 我想看 - Why are you following me? - I wanna see.
你想看看？你想看什么？看我中枪吗？ You wanna see? What do you wanna see? See me get shot?
我会想在那里的，对的 I would want to be there for that, yeah.
哦... Ooh...
哦！ Oh!
嘿，猛男 Hey, slugger.
看看你，在保护妈妈 Look at you, protecting mom.
你所做的一切都会让我心脏病发作 Everything you do gives me a heart attack.
发生了什么？ What happened?
唔？ Hmm?
什么？是... What? Is...
怎么回事啊？ What happened, huh?
不，你和艾伦之间有什么问题吗？ No. Is there a problem with you and Allen?
噢，亲爱的 Oh, honey.
好吧，你知道， Well, you know,
我们只需要决定 we just have to decide
我们是结婚还是分手 whether we get married or break up.
亲爱的！ Honey!
你不能同时考虑是与某人共度一生 You can't think about spending your life with someone
还是再也不会见到他们 or never seeing them again at the same time.
这个，当然可以 Well, sure you can.
这些就是选择 Those are the choices.
这对你有意义吗？ That make sense to you?
什么？ What?
好吧，你已经拥有的并不一定要有意义 Well, it doesn't have to make sense to be what you've got.
- 好吗？- 为什么总是我？ - Okay? - Why is it always me?
- 因为永远是你- 哦 - Because it's always you. - Oh.
我想要一个儿子 I want a son.
但 不是今晚 Not tonight.
你好 Hello.
是谁？ Who's that?
拜托，快来杀了我吧 Please, just come kill me.
- 艾伦！- 嘿老爸 - Allen! - Hey, dad.
你还好吗？你为什么不在你自己的公寓里？ You okay? Why aren't you in your apartment?
我在那站着对着墙说话 I was standing around talking to the wall.
所以，我认为我不在那里是最好的 So, I figured it was best I wasn't there.
我在这还有房间吗？ I still have a room here?
你当然有，宝贝！ Of course you do, baby!
随时欢迎你回来， And you are always welcome to it,
特别是如果和你在一起的那个女孩 especially if that girl that you're with
辜负了我的期望 has failed to live up to my expectations.
- 妈妈- 亲爱的！ - Mom. - Honey!
嗯！ Mmm!
那是一件非常漂亮的长袍 That's a very pretty robe.
你喜欢它吗？ Do you like it?
我喜欢它 你穿上它看起来棒极了！ I love it. You look great in it!
- 难道她穿起来不是很好看吗？- 当然好看 - Doesn't she look great in it? - Sure.
哦，别再试图挽救我们的关系了 Oh, stop trying to save our relationship.
你出去了，然后你回来了 你个笨蛋 You got out, you came back. You fool.
那是一件漂亮的长袍，莫妮卡 That is a pretty robe, Monica.
你穿上它确实很好看 我什么时候给你买的？ And you do look good in it. When did I buy that for you?
你没有 这是一份礼物 You didn't. It was a gift.
米歇尔想嫁给我 Michelle wants to marry me.
为什么？ What for?
我回家来考虑这个想法 I came home to consider the idea.
那么，这究竟是如何行得通的呢？ Well, how exactly would that work?
你应该问自己唯一重要的问题 You would ask yourself the only question that matters.
“这个女孩身上能不能 "Does this girl carry within her
像吸血鬼一样吸干你的灵魂 the potential to suck out your soul like a nosferatu
把你变成一个不死的，干涸的躯壳 and turn you into an undead, desiccated husk
有风的时候都会让你害怕 that in any strong wind would leave you afraid
你会把自己炸飞变成一堆灰烬？” you will blow out of your shoes and turn into ashes?"
没有！ No.
那就往前走吧，我的孩子 Then go forward, my son.
我还以为你和她在一起很开心 I thought you were happy with her?
我和她在一起是很开心 I am happy with her.
我们在一起的每一刻我都很开心 I'm happy with her every moment we're together.
但这对她来说还不够 她... But that's not enough for her. She...
她希望我以后都和她幸福地在一起 She wants me to be happy with her in the future.
我觉得这听起来很浪漫 I think that sounds romantic.
哈！我认为这是科幻小说 Ha! I think it's science fiction.
好吧 All right.
为什么你现在和她一起很幸福？ Why are you happy with her now?
她是我第一个想与之交谈 She's the first person I want to talk to
关于发生在我身上的任何事情的人 about anything that happens to me.
哇哦 那么，你为什么要改变它？ Aww. Well then, why do you want that to change?
为什么会变？ Why would it change?
当你改变关系时， When you change the relationship,
- 关系发生变化- 我对她说了 - the relationship changes. - I said that to her.
他对她说了！我们创造的这个男孩 He said that to her! This boy that we made
应用了合理的逻辑 applied sound logic.
那她说了什么？ And what did she say?
她要我和她一起跳下悬崖 She wants me to jump off a cliff with her.
我的意思是，这有什么价值吗？ I mean, is there value in that?
在... 握着一个人的手，闭上眼睛？ In... holding someone's hand and closing your eyes?
那非常年轻 That's very young.
她很传统，艾伦 She's traditional, Allen.
你知道，一个相信永远幸福的自信信徒 You know, a perky believer in the happily-ever-after.
这很奇怪 我还以为她很聪明 Which is strange. I thought she was quite intelligent
能意识到她实际生活的世界 and aware of the world in which she actually lives.
- 嘿，莫妮卡...- 但你可能已经发现 - Hey, Monica... - But you may have found
地球上最后一个假设能有幸福结局的女人 the last woman on earth who assumes a happy ending.
嘿，莫妮卡！ Hey, Monica!
莫... Mon...
你能给我们泡一壶咖啡吗？ Would you make us a pot of coffee?
对不起，你对我说了什么？ I'm sorry, what did you say to me?
因为，你知道，已经很晚了，我们没法清楚地思考 Because, you know, it's late and we're not thinking clearly.
还有什么比这更重要呢？ And what could be more important than this?
请你，煮点咖啡 Please, make coffee.
艾伦，你能告诉你的父亲那有多无礼吗？ Allen, would you tell your father how offensive that is?
因为我站在这里和我儿子 Because I am standing here talking to my son
谈论他的未来 about his future.
我说了“请” 我用了礼貌和亲切的话 I said "please". I used polite and cordial words.
好吧，我还没有和他谈完 我会告诉你 Well, I'm not finished talking to him. I'll tell you what.
你为什么不自己去厨房煮咖啡呢？ Why don't you go in the kitchen and you make the coffee?
等你回来的时候，我会已经让他走上正确的道路 By the time you come back, I'll have set him on the proper path
然后你想跟他聊多久就聊多久 and then you can talk to him as long as you want.
让我告诉你 你滚去厨房 I tell you what. How about you get your ass in the kitchen
然后煮一壶咖啡怎么样 and make a pot of coffee
还是我把你抱起来 然后他妈的把你扔出窗外？ or I pick you up and throw you right the fuck out the window?
天啊 好吧 Oh, my. Okay.
哼！ Huh!
爸爸？ Dad?
她对我的表现强势而感到困惑 She's confused by my show of strength.
我们有，差不多，一分钟 艾伦 We've got, like, a minute. Allen.
这个女孩爱你 我不在乎你在你的青春和优柔寡断中 This girl loves you. I don't care what you think
是怎么想的，她爱你！ in your youth and indecision, she loves you!
怎么有人是知道的？我怎么知道我自己是否爱她？ How does someone know that? How do I know if I love her?
你不必 You don't have to.
"爱"只是我们附加的 Love is just a word we've attached
来描述一种我们不会真正理解的感觉的一个词 to describe a feeling we won't really understand
直到我们老到可以回顾它， until we're old enough to look back on it.
然后想去知道我们曾经有没有爱过 And wonder if we ever did.
什么？ What?
你爱我吗？ Do you love me?
- 是的，我爱你 - 为什么？ - Yes, I do. - Why?
- 因为我爱你 - 为什么？ - Because I do. - Why?
因为你一直在乎我 你已经看到了我的幸福 Because you've cared for me. You've seen to my well-being.
- 为什么？为什么？！- 也许问一个不同的问题？ - Why? Why?! - Maybe ask a different question?
- 因为你是我的父亲！- 是的！ - Because you're my father! - Yes!
就是这样 这就对了 That's it. That's right.
就是这样 我是你的父亲 That's all. I'm your father.
这就是我们所拥有的 我们有爸爸妈妈 And that's what we've got. We've got mothers and fathers.
我们有父母和孩子 We've got parents and children.
而我……我为你奉献了自己 And I... I dedicated myself to you.
我们一起长大，你让我感到骄傲 We've grown up together, and you've made me proud.
但是，艾伦，我没有选择你 But, Allen, I didn't choose you.
你被赐予了我 You were given to me.
你不是我做出的选择 You're not a choice that I made.
但如果你是呢？ But what if you were?
如果我们不认识对方会怎样 What if we didn't know each other,
我们只是在街上见过面？ and we saw each other on the street?
我们之间会不会有某种牵挂 Would there be some sort of pull between us
让你知道，“这是我的父亲”？ that made you know, "this is my father"?
我会知道“这是我的儿子”吗？ Would I know, "this is my son"?
还是我会走开，不再去想你？ Or would I walk away and not give you a second thought?
但是医生说， But the doctor said,
“这个是你的” "this one is yours."
“带他回家” "Take him home."
我完全理解这种关系 And I understood that relationship completely.
但要出去选择一个人 But to go out and choose someone
一起度过剩下的时间，没有医生说， for the rest of time, without the benefit of a doctor saying,
“这个是你的，带她回家吧” "this one's yours. Take her home."
对一个人来说，这是一种怎样的责任？ What kind of a responsibility is that for a person?
我从来没有这样想过 I've never thought about it like that.
我一直在想这件事 I think about it all the time.
艾伦，看看这个女孩做了什么 Allen, look what this girl has done.
她为了你让自己变得脆弱 She's made herself vulnerable for you.
不要去担心你现在是否爱她 And don't worry about if you love her now.
爱一个人需要一辈子 It takes a lifetime to love someone.
这是我们最向往的 It's the thing we most aspire to
因为从来没有人把它弄清楚 because no one has ever figured it out.
直到有一天晚上，你醒来，你知道一切都很好 Until one night, you wake up, and you know everything's okay.
因为她是躺在你身边的那个人 'Cause she's the one lying next to ya.
这是发生在你身上的事吗？ Is that what happened to you?
我们是在谈论你 We're talking about you.
现在是你的世界，艾伦 It's your world now, Allen.
如果你重视我的建议， If you value my advice,
艾伦，我到过那， and, Allen, I've been there,
迎娶她 marry her.
迎娶玛莎 Marry Martha.
- 米歇尔 - 我不在乎 - Michelle. - And I don't care
当前的对话是什么， what the current conversation is out there,
有些东西必须是永恒的 some things have to be timeless.
否则，整个世界都会分崩离析 Or else, the whole world unravels.
我能问你一件事吗？ Can I ask you something?
如果你不能回答我，我也能理解 And I understand if you can't answer me.
我会回答你 I'll answer you.
如果你不得不重新来过， If you had to do it all over again,
你还会嫁给妈妈吗？ would you still marry mom?
看看我做了什么！太壮观了 Look what I've done! It's magnificent.
现在我可以和我儿子说话吗？ May I speak with my son now?
- 可以了 - 谢谢 - Yes. - Thank you.
因为是我们共同成就了你，艾伦 Because it took both of us to make you, Allen.
了解到这一点，让我一直无法走开 I've never been able to walk away knowing that.
你做了什么？ What have you done here?
我给我们泡了下午茶 I made us some high tea.
这是柠檬草洋甘菊 It's lemongrass chamomile.
还有黄瓜三明治 And cucumber sandwiches
加奶油芝士和一点莳萝 with cream cheese and just a little sprig of dill.
切碎的面包皮还有其他所有东西 Cut crusts and everything.
你知道，他只是要了一壶咖啡 You know, he just asked for a pot of coffee.
好吧，我总是改善他的小期望， Well, I always improve upon his smaller expectations,
而他总是不感激 and it always goes unappreciated.
- 这真的很好吃 - 没错，就是这样 - This is really good. - Damn right it is.
好吧，让我们谈谈米歇尔 Okay, let's talk about Michelle.
妈妈，你知道吗？ Mom, you know what?
明早再说吧 Let's talk about it in the morning.
现在，我只想待在这里 Right now, I just want to be here.
与你一起 With you.
好的 Okay.
非常感谢，上帝被 Thanks a lot, god is brought to you
纽约总教区 by the archdiocese of New York,
和新款的凯迪拉克凯雷德带来给你 and the new Cadillac escalade.
- 站住，罪人！- 哇！ - Freeze, sinner! - Whoa!
- 是的，我是说就是你！- 哦 - Yes, I mean you! - Oh.
因为你们中间真的有人可以声称 For is there truly one among you who can claim
可以洗净自己罪孽？ to be clean of sin?
我们……我们只是吃了鸡肉！ We... we just ate chicken!
我不知道那些人在做什么 I don't know what those people were doing.
如果你因为自己的行为没有犯罪 And if you pridefully pat yourself on the back
而自豪地拍拍自己的背， because you have not sinned in your actions,
那你心里干净吗？ are you clean in your mind?
不 Nope.
今天的戒训涉及第七条诫命 Today's message deals with the seventh commandment.
不可奸淫！ Thou shalt not commit adultery!
但有一种方法可以跳出火湖 But there is a way to leap out of the lake of fire.
等等，你知道些什么？这与我无关 Wait, you know something? This is not about me.
- 为...祈祷... 格蕾丝！- 不，等等！这不是关于我的！ - Pray... for... Grace! - No, wait! This is not about me!
对不起！ I'm sorry!
- 妈妈？- 哦！ - Mom? - Oh!
亲爱的 哦 Honey. Oh.
- 对不起 - 关于什么？ - I'm sorry. - About what?
好吧，关于...你和艾伦 Well, about... you and Allen.
我在我的旧房间里的旧床上想， I was in my old room in my old bed thinking,
“我是一个很好的小女孩，不是吗？” "I was such a good little girl, wasn't I?"
哦！你是最好的小女孩 Oh! You were the best little girl.
那为什么没有人想要和我一辈子？ Why wouldn't somebody want me forever?
哦！ Oh!
你让我相信爱情值得为之奋斗 You raised me to believe that love is worth fighting for.
嗯 Mmm.
那是唯一持续的东西 That it's the only thing that lasts.
是的，但我的意思是什么？ Yeah, but what did I mean?
你告诉我找到对的人 You told me that finding the right person
是我们做出的最重要的决定之一 is one of the most important decisions we make.
我是怎么了 我跟你说得太多了 What's the matter with me? I talk to you too much.
你还相信这个吗？ Do you still believe it?
如果他不想要和你一辈子， If he doesn't want you forever,
那我现在就把他终结了 I will end him right now.
- 唔- 这句话是从哪里来的？ - Hmm. - Where does that even come from?
它来自于知道我对此无能为力 It comes from knowing there's nothing I can do about this
除了多加油打气 except come on strong.
他现在在哪里，米歇尔？ Where is he now, Michelle?
我敢肯定他也不能一个人待在公寓里 I'm sure he couldn't be in the apartment alone either
然后像我一样回到他自己的家人身边 and went back to his family like I did.
但是为什么我们从来没有谈过他的父母呢？ But how come we've never even talked about his parents?
他父亲很棒 你会喜欢他的父亲的 His father's wonderful. You'd love his father.
那他妈妈呢？ And his mother?
他倒是有一个妈妈 He has one.
那么，你想知道是什么扼杀了人际关系吗？ So, you wanna know what killed relationships?
抗生素 Antibiotics.
如果像我们过去一样在46岁的时候就死去， Drop dead at 46 like we used to in the old days,
然后很快就结束了 那谁还在乎，对吧？ and then it's over really fast. Who cares, right?
但是“至死不渝”这个词需要重写了 But "till death do us part" needed a rewrite
在青霉素后 after penicillin.
你有过多少认真的关系？ How many serious relationships have you been in?
我以为在这之前我有一次 I thought I had a couple before this one.
但是现在我有了这个... But now that I have this one...
独一无二的 One.
- 你不喜欢米歇尔？- 不，我很喜欢她，艾伦 - You don't like Michelle? - No, I like her fine, Allen.
- 她给你做饭？- 我们一起做饭 - She cooks for you? - We cook together.
哦，那很甜蜜的 Oh, that's sweet.
所以，也许有一天你会在餐桌旁上一些课 So, maybe someday you'll take some classes at sur la table.
然后，当你等待蛋奶酥发酵时， And then, as you're waiting for the souffl to rise,
你会环顾四周，然后想，“我到底是怎么了？” you'll look around and think, "what the hell happened to me?"
我敢打赌她会打扫公寓 And I bet she cleans the apartment.
我们一起做这些事情，妈妈，你在开玩笑吗？ We do these things together, mom, are you kidding me?
他们像夫妻一样一起做事 They do things together as a couple.
为什么这对你来说似乎不太正确？ Why doesn't that seem correct to you?
爸爸，你刚才一直坐在那里吗？ Dad, you've just been sitting there?
40年来都是 For 40 years.
等着食物端上来 Waiting for food.
那么，为什么我们还没有遇到这些人呢？ So, why haven't we met these people?
我只是想避免尴尬的局面 I was just trying to avoid an awkward situation.
但为什么会是尴尬的局面呢？ But why would it be an awkward situation?
没有女孩的父亲想见男孩的父亲 No father of the girl wants to meet the father of the boy
因为男孩的父亲一直是免费得到它 who's been getting it for free.
爸爸！那对你来说很重要吗？哈？哈？！ Daddy! Is that what's important to you? Huh? Huh?!
这对他来说很重要！ That's what's important to him!
你怎么知道什么对他来说很重要？ How do you know what's important to him?
戒指在哪里？ Where is the ring?
戒指在哪里？ Where's the ring?
是的 戒指在哪里？我没看到戒指 Yep. Where's the ring? I don't see the ring.
我要看戒指！这里 I wanna see the ring! Here.
- 你在干什么？什么？- 这是一枚戒指 - What are you doing? What? - This is a ring.
看看这个戒指 这，这 Look at this ring. This, this.
这枚戒指意味着承诺 这枚戒指代表忠诚 This ring means commitment. This ring means loyalty.
这枚戒指代表信任 This ring means trust.
这…… 戒指到底在哪儿？ Did... Where the hell is the ring?
嗯，好吧…… 它在里面 Yeah, well... it's in.
- 嗯，就是这样- 在？ - Yeah, that's what it is. - In?
嗯嗯 Mm-hmm.
在哪儿？它在什么地方？ In where? Where's it in?
在里面 It's in.
我把它拿去调整 I took it in to get it adjusted
因为我的手指越来越粗了 because my fingers are getting really fatter.
你在说什么？ What are you talking about?
我手指变胖了 I got the fat fingers.
我的意思是，我只是…… 哦，我都做了什么？ I mean, I just... Oh, what have I done?
我不想让你知道 I didn't want you to know.
- 让我看看 - 是的 - Let me see. - Yeah.
胖的胖手指 Fat. Fat fingers.
噢，亲爱的 Oh, honey.
这是可爱的手指 These are lovely fingers.
- 你真的这样想吗？- 是的 - Do you really think so? - Yes.
是的 Yes, I do.
- 是的 - 因为... - Yes. - Because...
- 是的 是的 - 好的 - Yes. Yes. - Okay.
你看她对戒指有多激动？ You see how emotional she gets about the ring?
这是因为这是…… 你对它应该做的 It's because it's what... What you do with it.
这就是你应该投入一切 It's what everything you put into it
投入围绕它的所有情绪的东西 and all the emotions around it.
这可能是你得到的最重要的东西 And it's like maybe the most important thing you ever get.
你的戒指呢？ Where's yours?
在我的内裤抽屉里 In my underwear drawer.
嗯，我想看看 Uh, I'd like to see it.
不 不不不 No. No, no, no.
是的，但我想看看你的结婚戒指 Yeah, but I would like to see your wedding ring.
-我没看过...-我不认为... - I haven't seen it... - I don't think...
- 实际上，很长一段时间- 不合适 - In a long time, actually. - It doesn't fit.
- 它卡住了我的手指 - 噢，我懂了 - It jams me. - Oh, I see.
你不觉得我有，是吗？ You don't think I have it, do you?
我想看看它 I wanna see it.
不！不 No! No.
它就在该在的地方，你想知道为什么吗？ It stays where it is, and you wanna know why?
因为每一天 Because every day
当我穿上内裤时，我都能看见 I see that when I put on my underwear.
它象征意义就是：我结婚了， And the symbolism of that is: I am married,
我正在掩饰我的情况 and I am covering up my situation.
我想看戒指 I wanna see the ring.
我也想 它在哪里？ So do I. Where is it?
在我的床头柜的抽屉里 In my night table drawer.
圣经旁边得到它 Next to the Bible. Get it.
你是个好女人，亲爱的 You're a good woman, honey.
你们两个都很棒，你们知道吗？ You two are fabulous, you know that?
我相信所有这些东西 这都是你的错 It's your fault I believe in all this stuff.
看，我们已经确定她是一个守旧的女孩 Look, we've already established she's an old-fashioned girl.
也许她只是喜欢做饭和打扫卫生 Maybe she just loves to cook and clean.
你为什么不让她过来这里做做家务呢？ Why don't you have her over to do the house?
嘿！ Hey!
你真的要付出你的余生 Are you really going to give the rest of your life
给某人 就因为他们做饭和打扫卫生？ to someone because they cook and clean?
你要让我们帮助你做出这个决定吗？ Are you gonna leave it up to us to help you make this decision?
我来找你们俩是为了学习一些东西 I came to you both to learn something.
那这应该与我们没有关系了 This shouldn't have anything to do with us.
哦，但它确实和你们有关系 Oh, but it really does.
那，它应该和什么有关呢？ Well, what should it have to do with?
应该和爱情有关 It should have to do with love.
- 我找到了 看这个 - 哦！ - I found it. Look at that. - Oh!
看这个 嗯哼 Look at that. Uh-huh.
这就是我们爱情的象征 That is the symbol of our love.
把它戴上，亲爱的 Put it on, honey.
嗯…… 你知道的，我…… Um... you know, I...
噢，我... 我不认为它还能戴上这些手指 Boy, I... I don't think it's gonna fit these fingers.
你想亲吻它们吗？ You wanna kiss 'em?
嘿 你知道我要做什么吗？ Here. You know what I'm gonna do?
是的，你弄疼我了 yeah, you hurt me.
对不起 但永远不要再摘下来，好吗？ I'm sorry. Never take that off again, okay?
我明白你的立场，亲爱的 I understand your position, honey.
看这个 Look at that.
Bing. Bing.
现在真的戴在那里了 戴在那很好 Bing！ That's really on now. That's on there good. Bing!
- 哦耶 - 嗯嗯 - Oh, yeah. - Mm-hmm.
永远戴在那里了，只是因为我问了她一个问题 On there forever just because I asked her one question.
你爱我吗？ Do you love me?
你这是什​​么意思？ What do you mean?
如果答案是肯定，我想知道是为什么 And if the answer is yes, I wanna know why.
我本来是被 I was originally captured
你强烈的室内设计感所吸引 by your strong sense of interior design.
这就是你爱我的原因？ That's why you love me?
米歇尔有让你幸福吗？ Does Michelle make you happy?
我想应该是的 I think so.
你怎么会不知道你是否幸福呢？ How can you not know if you're happy?
爸爸，你幸福吗？ Are you happy, dad?
我就和我将会得到幸福一样幸福 I'm as happy as I'm gonna get.
米歇尔，无论你做什么，我们支持的 Michelle, we're fine with whatever you do.
我们只希望我们能有好的影响 We just hope that we were good influences.
我们总是告诉你真相 We always told you the truth
我们当时相信的真相，亲爱的 that we believed at the time, honey.
就像你说我永远不会成为一名芭蕾舞演员一样吗？ Like when you said I would never be a ballerina?
我知道，宝贝 对不起 但你不会的 I know, honey. I'm sorry. You won't.
- 这是事实 - 好的 - Here's truth. - Okay.
这些人和我们一样 These people are as much to blame as we are
对我们所有人走到这一步都负有责任 for all of us arriving at this point.
你觉得他们会礼貌地请我们吃饭吗？ You think they'd have the courtesy to invite us to dinner?
我的意思是，毕竟我们的孩子和他们的孩子在一起睡觉 I mean, our kid sleeps with their kid.
这不够让我们有资格被邀请吃一次晚饭吗？ Doesn't that entitle us to a dinner?
他是对的 是的！把他弄到这里来 He's right. Yes! Just get him over here.
- 是的 - 妈妈，认真的吗？ - Yes. - Mom, seriously?
哦，我不会因为是我教给你的而受到责备，好吗？ Oh, I'm not gonna be blamed for what I taught you, okay?
快去！ Go!
是的 Yeah.
来吧，我们开始吧 Come on, let's do it.
除了，为什么不能是我们去那里？ Except, why can't we go there?
为什么所有东西对我来说都必须得是昂贵的？ Why does everything have to be expensive for me?
米歇尔，我的铃铛！ Michelle, my bell!
- 哎呀 - 你好吗？ - Yikes. - How are you?
我们刚刚还在谈论你 We were just talking about you.
你好 是吗？ Hi. You were?
无休无止 Endlessly.
是的... Yes...
你好 Howdy.
你也好 Howdy to you too.
现在将要发生的一件有趣的事情， Here's an interesting thing that's gonna happen,
但首先我想说，我想你 but first, I miss you.
我也想你 I miss you too.
很好 Great.
我父母想请你们今晚过来吃晚饭 My parents wanna have you guys over for dinner tonight.
他们觉得如果我们终于能够聚在一起就好了 They think it would be nice if we all finally got together.
我宁愿直接结婚 I'd rather just get married.
那么，今晚我能见到你吗？ So, I'll see you tonight?
本能地来说，是个坏主意 Instinctively, a bad idea.
快同意 Do it.
所以，米歇尔和她的父母 So, Michelle and her parents
今晚想请你过去吃晚饭是吗 would like to have you over for dinner tonight.
- 我们所有人？- 不，我不会那样做的 - All of us? - No. I'm not going to that.
静音键 静音键在哪里？ Mute. Where's mute?
不，绝对不 绝对不 No, absolutely not. Absolutely not.
这太蠢了 他们在撒渔网 This is a sucker play. They're throwing out the net.
她会像鳟鱼一样把你卷进去 She's gonna reel you in like a trout.
你来说吧，山姆，你来说 You take care of it. Go ahead, Sam, take care of it.
嗨，米歇尔 Hi, Michelle.
- 你好 - 听着 - Hi. - Listen.
我们很乐意来 We'd love to come.
- 什么？！- 很好 - What?! - Amazing.
我的父母很高兴能见到你们 My parents are so excited to meet you guys.
七点钟怎么样？ How's seven o'clock?
那太棒了 我们能带点什么东西吗？ That's great. Can we bring anything?
你们自己就行了 我相信那就足够了 Just yourselves. I'm sure that will be plenty.
很期待 Looking forward to it.
你为什么不想见见这些人呢？ Why don't you wanna meet these people?
我们能有什么共同点吗？ What could we possibly have in common?
哇！耶！ Whoo! Yay!
我在马马罗内克 I'm in mamaroneck.
这世界上没有足够多的酒 There isn't enough alcohol in the world.
我耳朵有一点嗡嗡声 I have a little bit of a buzz on.
这是一种近乎出现幻觉的意识缺失 This one's a lack of awareness bordering on hallucination.
我来！ I'll get it!
上帝保佑我们，每个人 God bless us, everyone.
米歇尔，嗨 Michelle, hi.
是的 Yep.
米歇尔 Michelle.
亲爱的！哇，哇！ Darling! Aww, mwah!
- 嗯 - 啊对 - Mmm. - Oh, right.
哦，多么可爱的小房子 Oh, what a lovely little house.
看，山姆，这正是我们会拥有的 Look, Sam, this is exactly what we would have
如果我是个古怪的人的话 if I did quaint.
还有爸爸妈妈呢，他们在哪里？ And mama and papa, where are they?
你确实说了七点来，不是吗？ You did say seven, didn't you?
您来得正是时候 You are right on time.
他们只是来晚了一点 They're just running a little late.
好吧，我们可以下次再来，不是吗？ Well, we could come back another time, couldn't we?
对你来说哪个行得通呢，亲爱的？ What works for you, sweetheart?
- 母亲！- 是的！ - Mother! - Yeah!
二十分钟前我就应该准备好了 I should've been ready, like, twenty-flaggh minutes ago.
嘿！哦，我的天啊 艾伦，你好 Hey! Oh, my goodness. Allen, hi.
- 你好 - 等一下 - Hi. - And wait a minute.
当然，你一定是艾伦的妈妈 Of course, you must be Allen's mother.
莫妮卡 很高兴终于能见到你 Monica. It is so nice to finally meet you.
- 嗯，谢谢 - 是的 - Well, thank you. - Yeah.
谢谢 我们真的早就应该这样做了 Thank you. We really should've done this a long time ago.
- 是吗？- 是的 - Right? - Yeah.
好吧，既然你已经见过了我妈妈， Well, now that you've met my mother,
我想给你介绍一下... I'd like to introduce you to...
爸爸？ Dad?
那，艾伦，你的父亲呢？ Well, Allen, where is your father?
他待不下去吗？ Couldn't he make it?
我的丈夫，他把我们丢在这里了吗？ My husband, did he leave us here?
门是开着的，所以，也许…… The door's open, so, maybe...
- 他在外面？- 哦 亲爱的 真的吗？ - He's outside? - Oh, dear. Really?
爸爸？ Dad?
大家好！ Hey, everybody!
抱歉我来晚了一点 Sorry I'm a little late.
嘿！ Hey!
你在我的家里？ You're in my house?
是的 甚至比那更糟 Yeah. It's even worse than that.
你现在不能杀我了 我还有伴 You can't kill me now. I've got company.
- 你猜怎么了？- 什么？ - Guess what? - What?
- 什么？- 我就是那个伴 - What? - I'm the company.
哈哈！ Ha-ha!
不不不... No, no, no...
爸爸？ Dad?
是的！那是我的儿子艾伦 Yeah! That's my son Allen
和你的妻子在一起，抱着你的女儿 who's with your wife, holding your daughter.
哦，我的上帝 Oh, dear god.
霍华德，呃，这是莫妮卡 Howard, uh, this is Monica.
莫妮卡，这是我的丈夫 霍华德 And, Monica, this is my husband, Howard.
你好吗？ How do you do?
你好 我是霍华德 Hi. I'm Howard.
这是我住的地方 This is where I live.
这是我的女儿，米歇尔 This is my daughter, Michelle.
我是她的父亲 你现在知道我住在哪里了 I am the father of her. You know where I live now.
我找到了你的小房子 嗯... I found your little house. Mmm.
本能地来说，是个坏主意 Instinctively, bad idea.
嗯，是的 你知道这是什么吗？ Um, yeah. You know what this is?
这是，嗯... 你称呼它， This is, um, what would you call this,
有点自由浮动的焦虑感？ a little free-floating anxiety?
- 更多 - 多多了 - More. - Way more.
对 没错，因为 Right. Right, because
每个人都知道这有多重要，亲爱的，真的 everyone knows how important this is, sweetie, really.
所以，我们只是想确保 And so, we're just trying to make sure
这是一个值得纪念的夜晚 that it's an evening to remember.
哦，那一定是我丈夫 Oh, that must be my husband.
哦！哦，好的，我让他进来 Oh! Oh, well, I'll let him in.
然后我们现在都能放松下来了 And we'll all loosen up right now.
你会知道的 你会知道的 You'll see. You'll see.
哦！好吧... Oh! Well...
不，不，我，嗯... No, no. I, um...
那其实不是你的丈夫 That actually wasn't your husband.
但是我可以问你几个关于你丈夫的问题吗？ But can I ask you a couple questions about your husband?
- 妈妈 - 嗯？ - Mom. - Huh?
因为它……真的太重要了，亲爱的 Because it's... it's all really too much, honey.
只是……就像……我是说…… It's just... it's like... I mean...
这可能决定我们的余生 This could decide the rest of our lives.
- 是的 - 是的，我认为她是对的 - Yeah. - Yeah, I think she's right.
- 是的 - 我认为... - Yeah. - I think...
我认为每个人... I think that everybody...
都该回家了 Should go home.
什么？ What?
我尽可能清楚地说了 As clearly as I could, I said it.
伙计们，这正在发生 Guys, this is happening.
我们……我们想决定我们的余生 We... we want to decide the rest of our lives.
好吧，但实际上我们不想 Well, we don't, actually.
我们可以的，但如果你不开门我们就不能了 We do, and we can't if you don't open the door.
为格蕾丝祈祷 Pray for grace.
嗯... Um...
哦！ Oh!
呃... Uh...
看看你都对他做了什么 Look what you did to him.
不，你是对的 我们应该更经常这样做的 No, you're right. We should do this more often.
你必须做点什么 You have to do something.
是你必须做点什么 这是你的房子 You have to do something. It's your house.
有人愿意喝一杯吗？ Would anyone care for a drink?
- 好！- 啊，米歇尔 - Yes! - Ah, Michelle.
艾伦？ Allen?
我们要红酒，谢谢 We'll have wine, thank you.
葡萄酒 格蕾丝，来一杯吗？ Wine. Grace, a drink?
我现在可以来一杯了 I do now.
哦 是的 Oh, yes.
我来一杯往常一样的 I'll have the usual.
拜托 Come on.
好吧 坦奎雷马提尼酒 加捻 特别干燥 All right. Tanqueray Martini. Extra dry with a twist.
- 噢！- 哦，现在是“噢”？ - Ow! - Oh, now it's "ow"?
他叫什么名字？ What's his name?
- 山姆 - 山姆！ - Sam. - Sam!
- 是的- 你喝什么，伙计？ - Yeah. - What are you drinking, buddy?
- 波旁酒 - 两杯怎么样？ - Bourbon. - How about a double?
一整瓶怎么样？ How about the bottle?
谁能因此责备你呢？ Who could blame you?
哦... Oh...
看，这就是我为什么不帮他调酒， Look, why don't I help him make the drinks,
那你带大家参观房子？ and you take everyone on a tour of the house?
两个都应该不会花很长时间 Neither one should take very long.
其实，米歇尔和我有很多话要说 Actually, Michelle and I have a lot to talk about.
你想出去走走吗？ Would you like to step outside?
我想知道你是否有一个让我感到安全的地方？ I was wondering if you had a place I might feel safe?
妈妈，带艾伦的父亲到处看看 Mom, show Allen's father around.
哦！当然可以 Oh! Of course.
你会爱上他的 You will love him.
说的真好，亲爱的 What a thing to say, honey.
说的真好 嗨 What a thing to say. Hi.
嗯，来这里 Um, here.
嗯... Um...
只是，呃……嗯…… Just, uh... um...
你没有告诉我你有孩子 You didn't tell me that you have children.
你告诉我你儿子只有六岁 You told me your son was six years old.
他曾经是 He was once.
你告诉我你54岁了 And you told me that you were 54.
- 我曾经是 - 哦！ - I was once. - Oh!
那么，你现在多大了？ So, what are you now?
六十七 Sixty-seven.
哦，67岁！ Oh, 67!
是啊 是啊 去年我就68岁了 Yeah, yeah. I'll be 68 last year.
噢！不好了！我之前是在和尸体做 Oh, no! I was making it with a corpse.
哦，可爱 真的很可爱 Oh, lovely. Really lovely.
我的意思是，为什么有人会从你身边离开？ I mean, why would anyone ever leave you?
哦，你不会离开我的 Oh, you are not leaving me.
我已经走了，莫蒂西亚 I'm already gone, morticia.
不，我想我们那晚只是休息了一晚上 No. I think we just had an off night.
不！摩妮卡，什么... No! Monica, what...
- 看……看着我- 嗯 - Look... look at me. - Mmm.
我们甚至都不喜欢对方 We don't even like each other.
为什么要继续这样下去？ Why keep this going?
你不明白有多难 You don't understand how difficult it is
去开始一段新的秘密关系 to start a new clandestine relationship.
你必须时刻关注什么人会做什么 You have to keep track of what guy goes with what.
萨姆认为我在生他的气 我没有生他的气 Sam thinks I'm angry at him. I'm not angry at him.
我只是失去了他的踪迹 I just lost track of him.
其实，你也不生我的气 Well, you're not mad at me either.
你搞砸了你自己的生活 You screwed up your own life.
你是唯一能想出办法 You're the only one who can figure out a way
找到某种幸福或任何你在寻找的东西的人 to find some kind of happiness or whatever you're looking for.
我不在乎 I don't care.
我还是要杀你 I'm still killing you.
莫妮卡 Monica,
没有人必须杀死什么人 nobody has to kill anyone.
时间在这方面做得很好 Time is doing a fine job of that.
-格蕾丝... -这是我们的后院 - Grace... - This is our backyard.
这就是我们要去的地方 And this is where we go
当我们想去房子的后面时 when we want to come to the back of the house.
昨晚 Last night
是我记忆中最甜蜜的夜晚 was the sweetest night I can remember.
哦，对我来说也是，山姆 Oh, well, for me too, Sam.
但我们现在真的不能考虑这个， But we really can't think about that now,
因为如果我们的孩子结婚了怎么办？ because what if the kids get married?
那，就太棒了 Well, that'd be fantastic.
事情再好不过了 Things couldn't work out any better.
我们…… 我们就能有借口可以经常见面了 We'd... we'd have excuses to see each other all the time.
哦 嗯... Oh. Mmm.
那算是乱伦吗？我是说……这是…… Is that incest? I mean... it's...
格蕾丝，我觉得 Grace, I think
命运想要我们要在一起 fate meant us to be together.
看，昨晚是我很久以来度过的最美好的一晚 Look, last night was the best night I've had in a long time.
但我想听到那些话，感受那些感觉 But I want to hear those words and feel those feelings
和我的老公一起 with my husband.
昨晚，我对我的婚姻也有些感觉 Last night, I had feelings about my marriage too.
嗯 什么？ Mmm. What?
我讨厌我的妻子 I hate my wife.
- 你不讨厌 - 我讨厌她的胆量 - You do not. - I hate her guts.
你为什么要那样说？ Why would you say that?
- 我和她住在一起 - 山姆！ - I live with her. - Sam!
因为她讨厌我 Because she hates me.
你有太多的爱去恨任何人了 There's too much love in you to hate anybody.
在你身上也有太多的爱 And there is too much love in you
让它不能归还回去 to not have it returned.
让我归还它，格蕾丝 Let me return it, grace.
我们会一起生活很久 We live a long time.
我们会有孩子 And we'll have kids.
我们会看着他们成长 We'll watch them grow.
然后我们就50岁了 And we'll be 50.
请理解这其实是一件好事 Please understand that that's a good thing.
我知道当我们还是我们时 这是一件好事 I understand it's a good thing when we're us.
但是，米歇尔，他们就是我们 But, Michelle, they were us.
他们相信你所相信的 They believe what you believe.
他们相信他们不会失去理智 They believed they wouldn't lose their minds.
我一直想问的 All I've been asking
就是我们在变成他们的路上会发生的事情 is what happens to us on the way to them.
要是我们 Do we wake up
在一些多云的星期二醒来 on some cloudy Tuesday
结果我们不再对彼此感到兴奋了？ and we're just not excited by each other anymore?
你将会永远对我感到兴奋 You will always be excited by me.
看我 我在我的小床上 Look at me. I'm on my little bed.
别这样上我的床 Don't get on my bed looking like that.
我为了你父母打扮好了 I got dressed for your parents.
我妈妈才穿高领毛衣 把它脱掉 My mother wears turtlenecks. Get it off.
把它脱掉 把它脱掉！ Get it off. Get it off!
你不能再碰我了，还记得吗？ You don't touch me anymore, remember?
哦 对 Oh, yeah.
现在你可以和我躺一起了 Now you can get in bed with me.
什么都别说 Don't say anything.
都别说 Just don't.
我们是不是像他们一样疯狂地度过了人生的大部分时间？ Do we spend the greater part of our lives as crazy as they are?
你真的认为他们疯了吗？ Do you really think they're crazy?
因为我不觉得 Because I don't.
昨晚我有种感觉 I had feelings last night.
我都不知道我还有能力 I didn't know I was still capable
有那样的感觉 of having feelings like that.
是吗？ Yeah?
我们只能做一件事 There's only one possible thing we can do.
就是忘记它曾经发生过 Forget it ever happened.
你和我一起， You and me,
- 去大溪地岛 - 哦，所以我要离开这里了 - Tahiti. - Oh, so I'm way off here.
这不是巧合 This isn't coincidence.
事情是故意这样发生的 Things happen on purpose
这样我们就可以弄清楚该如何处理我们的生活 so that we can figure out what to do with our lives.
我们的生活把我们带到了这里 And our lives have led us here.
这不是真的 It's not real.
山姆！这不是真的 Sam! This isn't real.
你不想和一个更年轻漂亮的女人在一起吗？ Wouldn't you want this with a nice, younger woman?
好吧，我的妻子就比我年轻 Well, my wife is younger than me.
所以，我从中学到的是……不 So, what I've learned from that is... no.
她是真实的 And she's real.
她就是真实的 She's as real as it gets.
但忘记昨晚发生的事情是不现实的， But forgetting last night happened isn't real,
因为它确实发生了 because it did.
真实的就是它确实发生了 What's real is that it did.
我的意思是，你觉得昨晚发生了什么？ I mean, what do you think happened last night?
山姆，什么都没发生 Sam, nothing happened.
一切都发生了 Everything happened.
我们聊天 我们进行了交谈 We talked. We had conversation.
你最后一次和一个人真正交谈是什么时候？ When's the last time you really talked to someone?
我们分享了对我们最重要的亲密关系 We shared the intimacy that matters the most
因为我认为即使身体上没有互相接触， because I think that by not touching each other,
我们都能互相感动 we touched each other.
而且…… 这就是我想要的，格蕾丝 And... it's what I want, grace.
不是吗？ Don't you?
我和他们一起长大 我看着他们待在一起 I grew up with them. I watched them stay together
而我所有朋友的父母都分开了 while all my friends' parents fell apart.
我很欣赏它 I admired it.
我也见过我的父母 I've watched mine too.
我只能根据我所看到的去做 I can only go by what I've seen.
如果这是约定的一部分， And if that is built into the deal,
当它来临时，我们能足够聪明地认识到它吗？ will we be smart enough to recognize it when it comes?
我们能认识到 Will we recognize
到达不允许我去说“我爱你”的地步是多么容易吗 how easy it is to arrive at a place where I'm not allowed
即使我真的觉得我爱你 to say "I love you" even though I really think I do.
艾伦 Allen.
我们在一起非常好 你在干什么？ We're so good together. What are you doing?
我不希望它发生在我们身上 I don't want it to happen to us.
所以，帮帮我，好吗？你帮帮我 So, help me out, okay? You help me out.
你怎么能嫁给你爱的人？ How do you marry a person you love?
你怎么那样对别人？ How do you do that to somebody?
哇 Wow.
你生我的气？ You're angry at me?
我怎么可能会呢？ How could I be?
这与你我完全没关系 This has nothing to do with you and me at all.
哦，我的天啊 你做出决定了吗？ Oh, my goodness. Have you come to a decision?
我要最后试一次 I'm gonna try one last time.
不要让你不知道的即将到来的事情 Don't let what you don't know is coming
阻碍你知道的我们现在拥有的东西 get in the way of what you know we have now.
我知道会发生什么 I do know what's coming.
我知道会有简单的部分， I understand there's gonna be easy parts,
就像我们的结婚日和我们孩子的生日， like our wedding day and the birthdays of our children,
我知道我们会互相倾慕 and I understand we're gonna be all over each other
在前五年 for the first five years.
感谢你给的景象，孩子 Thanks for the image, kid.
那困难的部分呢？ But what about the hard parts?
我们不记得 What about the day that we don't remember
我们把生命中最美好的部分给了对方的那一天？ we gave each other the best parts of our lives?
因为……因为我们太忙了 Because... Because we're too busy
互相指责对方是两个中年土豆 blaming each other for being two middle-aged potatoes.
天啊 Oh, god.
诚实不会伤害我们 所以，你让我明白了 Honesty can't hurt us. So, you make me see.
是什么阻止它成为我们的余生 What keeps that from being the rest of our lives.
你说的简单的部分是错的 You're wrong about the easy part.
我们能做的最简单的事情 The easiest thing we could do
就是粉碎这段关系 然后继续前进 is smash this up and move on
不断问自己同样的问题 and keep asking ourselves the same questions
但是是与其他人一起 but with other people.
如果我... And if I do...
如果我找到其他人，区别将是 If I do find somebody else, the difference will be
我已经认识你了 that I already knew you.
你会是我爱一个人的参照， You will be my frame of reference for loving somebody,
我会把他们和你做比较，然后他们会落败 and I will compare them to you and they will fail.
你为什么要那样对我？ Why would you do that to me?
如果有一天我们真的和别人有了孩子， And if we do someday have children with someone else,
你的小女孩不会长得像我 your little girl won't look like me.
你不能在她脸上看到我还有其他一切 You won't be able to see me and everything
我们在她的脸上经历那些年 we've gone through over the years in her face.
而当她找到她心爱的人时， And when she finds her person,
它永远不会让你想起曾经你和我在一起的时光 it'll never remind you of what you and I had together.
艾伦，我们就是这样抓住生命中最美好的部分的 That's how we hang onto the best parts of our lives, Allen.
那就是拯救我们的东西 That's what saves us.
和我一起跳下悬崖吧 Jump with me.
你怎么能要求我向你保证我们以后不会变疯？ How can you ask me to promise you we won't go crazy later?
我们现在已经疯了 You're crazy now.
除非你发现了什么 Unless you found something.
你最终发现我哪里不对了吗？ Have you finally found something wrong with me?
你已经有足够的时间思考了，所以告诉我吧 You've had enough time, so just tell me.
告诉我 这个女孩现在有什么不对的吗？ Just tell me. What's wrong with this girl right here, right now?
我们就是我们，艾伦 We're us, Allen.
不是其他人 Nobody else.
我会一辈子想念你 And I will miss you for the rest of my life.
亲爱的，拜托... Honey, come on...
艾伦... Allen...
快去追她 Go after her, please.
不，他必须自己一个人做这件事，伙计 No, he's gotta do this by himself, buddy.
没有 Nothing.
你没有什么事 There's nothing the matter with you.
我从来没有发现过一件事是错误的 I've never not ever found one thing wrong.
你们养育了我认识的最棒的人 You raised the most wonderful person I know.
- 嗯嗯 - 谢谢 - Mm-hmm. - Thank you.
她是我最好的朋友 And she's my best friend.
我不在乎她对我做什么 I don't care what she does to me.
现在这是个开始的好方式 Now that's a good way to go into this.
我们这样对他们？ We did this to them?
主要是你 Mostly you.
我一直想知道为什么婴儿出生时如此无助 I always wondered why babies are born so helpless
以及为什么我们在他们最无能为力时候得到他们 and why we get them when they can't do anything.
我一直觉得那是为了我们的 And I always thought that was for us.
让我们在他们长大后能回顾往事， So that we'd look back when they grew up,
并为我们教会了他们所知道的一切而感到自豪 and be proud that we taught them everything that they knew.
因为他们出生时什么都不懂 Because they didn't know anything.
但这根本不是为了我们，不是吗？ But it wasn't for us at all, was it?
是为了他们 It's for them.
是为了不让他们意识到 It's to keep them from realizing
我们其实不知道我们自己都在做什么，时间越久越好 that we don't know what we're doing for as long as possible.
但你知道吗？ But you know what?
无论如何，他们都想通了 They figure it out anyway.
我们知道我们在做什么 We knew what we were doing.
你听到他说的了 You heard him.
我们养育了一个了不起的女儿 We've raised an incredible daughter.
我想再要一次机会 I want another chance.
什么？ What?
这次我会把事做对的 I would get it right this time.
我们做对了很多事 We got a lot of it right.
不，你没看见她吗？ No. Didn't you see her?
她是名芭蕾舞演员，但我错失了它 She's a ballerina and I missed it.
好吧 Okay.
我们不能再这样做了 Well, we can't do it again.
你得到一程 You get one ride.
- 并且只有一程 - 嗯 - And one ride only. - Uh-huh.
我们已经完成了我们所做的 We've done what we've done.
好吧，那你为什么不阻止我 Well, why didn't you just stop me
变成一个土豆呢？ from becoming a potato?
你不是土豆 You're not a potato.
我是，我是 我就是个土豆 I am, I am. I'm a potato.
这是你的责任去阻止我 And it was your responsibility to stop me when
- 当我开始变成一个 - 格蕾丝 这... - I started turning into one. - Grace. It...
但你却没有注意到 But you weren't paying attention.
对不起，我让你有那样的感觉 I'm sorry I made you feel that way.
我认为我儿子是完全正确的 I think my son is absolutely right.
关于什么？ About what?
诚实不会伤害我们 Honesty cannot hurt us.
当然可以 Sure it can.
有人想从一些小热狗开始吗？ Would everyone like to start out with some little hot dogs?
-不想 -我做它们是因为 - No. - I made them because
每个人都喜欢它们 而且没有什么不好的事情发生 everyone likes them and nothing bad has happened
- 当我做它们的时候 - 我们四个人，比如说 - when I make them. - The four of us, for instance.
我们真的对彼此完全坦诚吗？ Have we really been honest with each other?
- 莫妮卡！- 啊 对 你……你可能得…… - Monica! - Oh, right. You... you should...
- 接受这句话，是的 - 是的，这是我的房子， - Probably take this, yeah. - Yeah, it's my house,
- 所以我说出来了，但她是... - 我的妻子，所以我猜... - so I spoke up, but she's... - My wife, so I guess...
是对你说的，是的 On you, yeah.
- 除非你更想... - 不 - Unless you'd rather... - No.
我，对我而言，完全没有打算 I, for one, have absolutely no intention
度过我的余生 of living out the rest of my life
现在甚至都被觉得是个土豆 even remotely being thought of as a potato.
没有人认为你是个土豆 Nobody thinks of you as a potato.
哦 真的吗？那他们把我看作什么？ Oh, really? What do they think of me as?
那个把土豆捣碎的东西 That thing that mashes the potato.
但我会 But I will be living
诚实地度过我的余生 the rest of my life honestly.
所以，我不想再谈论今晚了 And so, I don't want to talk about tonight anymore.
我认为她是对的 I think she's right.
我认为无论发生什么，孩子们都把握得很好 I think whatever happens, the kids have this well in hand.
我想谈谈昨晚的事情 I want to talk about last night.
今晚不是关于你想要什么的，莫妮卡 This evening is not about what you want, Monica.
哦，那是关于什么的？ Oh, what's it about?
是关于米歇尔和艾伦的， It's about Michelle and Allen,
以及我们在他们做出的决定中起到的作用 and our part in the decision they're making.
他们一生都在观察着我们 They've watched us their whole lives.
他们知道我们是什么样的，他们不想成为我们 They know who we are, and they don't want to be us.
我也不想成为我们 I don't want to be us either.
莫妮卡，我想和你谈谈 Monica, I'd like to talk to you.
是吗？你想和我谈谈，真的吗？ You do? You wanna talk to me, really?
好吧，你去吧，山姆 Well, you go right ahead, Sam.
- 不在这里- 哦 那你更喜欢哪里？ - Not here. - Oh. Where would you prefer?
私密的地方 Someplace private.
卧室？卧室就是私密的 The bedroom? The bedroom's private.
你想在床上谈吗... 我们可以借用你们的卧室吗？ Do you wanna talk in the bed... May we borrow your bedroom?
我们只是在里面谈谈 We're just gonna talk in it.
我们不再做亲吻或者类似的事情了 We don't kiss or do anything like that anymore.
我们曾经在每晚睡觉前会亲吻 We used to kiss every night before we went to bed.
我们很重视这一点，我也喜欢那样 We made a point of it, and I liked that.
这是充满希望的 It was hopeful.
他在说什么？ What was it he said?
你还记得吗 Do you even remember
我们把生命中最美好的部分给了对方？ that we gave each other the best parts of our lives?
我记得所有东西 I remember everything.
但当你们开始晚安不亲吻， But when you stop kissing each other good night,
你只是说一句“晚安”或者有时你干脆不说了， and you just say "goodnight" or sometimes you don't say that,
然后你关掉你的小灯，翻过身去 and then you just turn out your little light and roll over
让我一个人坐在那里时， and you leave me sitting there,
那么就有必要去别处寻找希望了 then it's necessary to go elsewhere for hopeful.
你知道我在说什么吗？ Do you know what I'm saying?
- 不知道！- 或者到别处 - No! - Or look elsewhere
去寻找一个难忘的灯光之夜 for a memorable evening with the lights on.
你觉得我晚上在做什么 What do you think I do at night
当我不在家的时候，山姆？ when I'm not at home, Sam?
我尽量不去想它 I try not to think about it.
哦，你为什么不去想一下呢？ Oh, why don't you think about it?
因为这对我来说无关紧要 Because it doesn't matter to me.
因为我只想翻个身去睡个觉 Because I just want to turn over and go to sleep.
好了，你问了你的问题 Okay, you asked your question.
- 你也得到了答案 - 嗯，这对我来说很重要 - You got your answer. - Well, it matters to me.
昨晚发生的事对我来说很重要 It matters to me what happened last night.
所以，在继续去寻找一个难忘的夜晚时， So, in the continuing search for a memorable evening,
我只是要把现在这个点亮一点 I'm just gonna sparkle this one up a little.
不！不是我 No! It wasn't me.
我没有和他在一起 I wasn't with him.
不，亲爱的，你没有这个权利 No, honey, you don't have this right.
- 什么？- 我就知道我会被抓住 - What? - I knew I'd get caught.
下一次，我为什么不直接发个邀请呢？ Next time, why don't I just send invitations?
为什么你们都没有这个权利？ Why do you both not have this right?
我就在家里的电视机前， I was home in front of the television,
你知道的，霍华德，你知道的 and you know that, Howard, and you know that.
你当然是 我当然知道 是的 Of course you were. Of course I know that. Yeah.
其实我不是，霍华德 I wasn't, Howard.
我不在家 I wasn't home.
格蕾丝，你到底在说什么？ Grace, what the hell are you talking about?
你到底在说什么？ What the hell are you talking about?
我说的是我和格蕾丝 你在说什么？ I'm talking about me and grace. What are you talking about?
好吧，我说的是我和霍华德 Well, I was talking about me and Howard.
但是，显然，别处还有消息 But, obviously, the news is elsewhere.
霍华德！ Howard!
格蕾丝，我犯了一个可怕的错误 Grace, I made a terrible mistake.
我的意思是，很明显！你现在认识她了 I mean, obviously! You know her now.
你怎么能这样？！ How could you do this?!
我怎么能？那你怎么能？ How could I? How could you?
就和你一样 The same way you could.
从什么时候开始的 你还能行吗？ And since when could you?
我还能行而且我也很擅长 I could and I'm good at it.
我刚刚杀了你 现在已经结束 I just killed you. Now it's over.
祝你今天过得愉快 Have a nice day.
你认识我老婆多久了？ How long have you known my wife?
四个月 Four months.
你有多久？ How long have you?
一个晚上 One night.
好像不太公平 Hardly seems fair.
- 她玩得开心吗？- 什么？ - She have fun? - What?
我的妻子玩得开心吗？ Did my wife have fun?
我们度过了一个美好的夜晚 We had one wonderful evening.
很好 那挺好的 Good. That's good.
你不生气吗？ You're not angry about that?
是啊，好吧，那我应该生谁的气，她吗？ Yeah, well, who am I supposed to be angry at, her?
好像她不配拥有她想要的一切一样？ Like she doesn't deserve to have whatever she wants?
你吗...？ You...?
你看起来是世上最可爱的人 You seem like the sweetest guy alive.
我们做的只是交流谈心 All we did was talk to each other.
什么？ What?
只有聊天 我们聊了几个小时 That's all. We talked for hours.
你们聊了几个小时？ You talked for hours?
聊了每一件小事 About every little thing.
她不会让其他任何事情发生 She wouldn't let anything else happen.
这就是她想要的 That's all she wanted.
她又证明了自己是一个比我好得多的人 She continues to prove herself to be a better person than me.
那么，我们现在该怎么办呢？ So, what are we supposed to do now?
我不知道 I don't know.
想来打一架吗？ Wanna beat each other up?
好 Yeah.
不……不…… N... no...
- 好的 Ca-ca-ca... - 来吧，起来 - Okay. Ca-ca-ca... - Come on, get up.
- 起来 - 好的 - Get up. - Okay.
你爱上了我的妻子吗？ Are you in love with my wife?
嗯？ Huh?
什么，你在开玩笑吗？没有！ What, are you kidding me? No!
没！没有！ No! No!
该死 Damn it.
没有 拜托 对不起 No. Come on. I'm sorry.
山姆 Sam.
山姆，对不起 那是个错误 Sam, I'm sorry. It was a mistake.
那是一个错误 It was a mistake.
是的，可能对我来说也是 Yeah, probably for me too.
是的 山姆 Yeah. Sam.
没关系，没关系 It's okay, it's okay.
是的 山姆，伙计 Yeah. Sam, buddy.
外面还有一个广阔的世界等着你 There's a whole big world out there for you.
像你这样的人， Guy like you,
这会是一个什么样的世界 what kind of world would this be
如果像你这样的人都没有一个幸福的结局呢？ if there wasn't a happy ending for a guy like you?
也许这是有可能的 Maybe it's possible.
你的妻子告诉我，我可以再爱一次 Your wife taught me that I can love again.
很好 Yeah, great.
那真是太棒了 That's really great.
你真的对她有感觉，不是吗？ You really have feelings for her, don't you?
我想和她一起去大溪地 I want to go to Tahiti with her.
好吧，我可能不应该允许你们这样做，不是吗？ Well, I probably shouldn't allow that, should I?
好的，去吧 是的 Okay, go. Yeah.
我给你三天时间 I'll give you three days.
你真是太文明了 That's incredibly civilized of you.
是的，这是我应得的 Yeah, well, it's certainly what I deserve.
但她不想和我一起去 She doesn't want to go with me.
- 不想吗？- 她想和你一起去 - No? - She wants that from you.
这是她一直想要的 It's all she's ever wanted.
她一生都爱着你 She's loved you her whole life.
你觉得那是最简单的 You'd think that would be the simplest thing
在这个世界上一起生活的东西，不是吗？ in the world to live with, wouldn't you?
我不知道 I wouldn't know.
我不明白看着你的眼睛 I don't see where looking you in the eye
对我们任何人都有什么用处 is gonna work for either one of us.
我很想知道是谁先开始的 I'm interested in knowing who initiated this thing.
你还是我的丈夫 You or my husband.
然后你会问我 And you're gonna ask me questions
你真的不想要答案的问题 you really don't want the answers to.
好吧 你和我丈夫谈过话吗？ Okay. Did you have conversations with my husband?
有 Yes.
- 你和我的丈夫发生过性关系吗？- 没有 - Did you have sex with mine? - No.
哈 但有人应该这样做 Huh. Someone should.
你告诉米歇尔 Did you tell Michelle
- 爱是永恒的？- 是的 - that love lasts forever? - Yes.
所以，当你发现它其实不是时，你是不是疯了 So, when you found out that it didn't, did you just go crazy
然后为所欲为并且觉得任何行为都是合理的？ and do whatever you wanted and rationalize any behavior?
- 没有 - 好吧 - No. - Okay.
那就是只有我了 It's just me then.
我现在才发现这不是真的 I just found out it wasn't true right now.
我都做了什么？ What did I do?
他跟我在一起的行为与是否爱你无关 His behavior with me had nothing to do with loving you.
你在开玩笑吧？ Are you kidding?
我遇见你才三个小时，然后我就会嫁给你 I met you three hours ago and I'd marry you.
我会把他的屁股留在尘土里 I will leave his ass in the dirt.
你想知道为什么你不会这样做吗？ Do you want to know why you won't?
请说 Please.
他唯一不满意的人只是他自己 The only person he's unsatisfied with is himself.
但为什么？ But why?
你一天早上醒来，你只是觉得 You wake up one morning and you just feel like
整个世界与你擦肩而过， the world is passing you by,
而你对此无能为力，所以...... and there's nothing you can do about it and so...
你变成了一个破坏球 You become a wrecking ball.
他只是个初学者，格蕾丝 He's just a beginner, grace.
如果你想，你可以阻止他 You can stop him, if you want.
余生我都会站在这里，直到你能看着我 I will stand here for the rest of my life until you look at me.
这是我唯一一次做这样的事 It's the only time I've done anything like this.
明显是 It was obvious.
呃... Uh...
你对此还感到自豪 我真的不明白 You're proud of that. I don't understand.
你对此感到自豪吗？ Are you proud of that?
不 No.
不，我不为任何事情感到骄傲 No, I'm not proud of anything.
我做了一件很糟糕的事 I did something awful.
我不知道为什么我这样做 I don't know why.
我只知道你永远不必担心 All I know is that you'll never have to worry
我会再次做类似的事情 about me doing anything like that ever again.
- 为什么？- 因为这不是答案 - Why? - Because it's not the answer.
为什么？为什么你之前觉得你需要去 Why? Why did you feel like you needed to go
寻找其他地方？ looking somewhere else?
如果你有什么问题，你应该来找我 If you had questions, you're supposed to come to me.
就是，我总是，就是， It's like, I'm always, like,
-就在这里 所以... -我知道 - right here, so... - I know.
- 你一直都是 - 是的 - You always have been. - Yeah.
我... I...
我伤害了...我爱的人因为 I hurt... The person I love because
你就是那个人 you're the one who's there.
什么？ What?
- 什么，什么，什么，什么，什么？- 我...等等 - What, what, what, what, what? - I... wait.
我会用我们的余生 I'll spend the rest of our lives
来确保我知道你的感受 making sure that I know how you feel
对于发生在我们身上的任何事情 about whatever happens to us.
- 是的 - 对于如何... - Yeah. - About how...
对于你需要我什么 What you need from me.
和... And...
- 也许只是对于... - 什么？ - And maybe just about... - What?
对于时间... About time...
随着时间流逝 As it goes by.
你逼我和别人那样做 You made me do that with someone else.
现在怎么办？ Now what happens?
你去追她，她会原谅你 You go after her, and she forgives you.
为什么她会这样做？ Why should she?
因为她相信她生命中最好的余生 Because she believes the best possible rest of her life
是一直和你在一起 has always been with you.
所以你为什么不阻止我？ So why didn't you stop me?
我一直认为你比我更有趣，莫妮卡 I always thought you were more interesting than me, Monica.
我一直希望生活会变得更好，因为我了解你 I always hoped life would be better because I knew you.
但是我从来没有阻止过你什么 But there was never any stopping you.
我只能尽可能久地和你一起生活 There was only living with you as long as I could.
好吧，那你一直熬到现在 Well, you've stayed up until now.
我们有一个儿子 We had a son.
爱我们的儿子 Love our son.
只有你和我两个人才能造就他 Well, only you and I could've made him.
婚姻 嗯哼 Marriage. Mm-hmm.
我们遇见了一生挚爱， We meet the love of our life,
是我们的想法，在当时 is what we think, at the time.
但是，时间在流逝 But then, time goes by.
我们要给对方多久 我们才能变成 How long do we give each other until we turn into the people
我们一直希望我们成为的人呢？ we always hoped we would be?
也许真的有一天 当我们醒来时， Maybe we do wake up one day,
依然躺在彼此身边， still lying next to each other,
并且我们也终于明白了我们曾经所做的承诺： and we finally understand the promise we made.
我们会给彼此最好的余生 That we would give each other the best rest of our lives.
如果我们到不了那里怎么办？ What if we don't get there?
那我们怎么办？ What happens to us then?
但这就不再是我们的世界了，不是吗？ But it's not our world anymore, is it?
是他们的世界了 It's their world now.
你往哪里去，我也往那里去 Wherever thou goest, I will go.
你在哪里住宿，我也在那里住宿 And where thou lodgest, I will lodge.
你的同胞就是我的同胞 Thy people will be my people.
你的神就是我的神 And thy god my god.
你在哪里死，我也在那里死， And where thou diest, shall I die,
也葬在那里 and there will I be buried.
我从小就想知道 I grew up wondering
我能否站在一个人面前 if I would be able to stand in front of someone
并向她承诺我的余生 and promise her the rest of my life.
但我们在这里 But here we are.
我属于你， I belong to you,
无论发生什么事， and whatever happens,
都和你一起经历 let it happen with you.
准备好和我一起跳下悬崖了吗？ You ready to jump off the cliff with me?
是的 Yeah.
喔！ Whoo!
哦！ Oh!
哇！ Whoa!